The part about swimming in triathlon that
scares me the most is feeling like I am swimming and not moving anywhere. It
feels like I am stuck in a personal aqua vortex and I start to spiral.
There are so many parallels to my fears and
inhibitions in the water and the ones I feel on land. Today I feel like I am running on a treadmill (I hate the
treadmill). I feel like I have taken
a year off work and though I know it's been a year of hurdles and awakenings, I feel like I don't have anything to "show" for it.
I am slightly apprehensive about going back
to work because I know that these next two years will probably be my last in
the classroom as I move on and out to something new. At the same time, I see these next two years as a great
opportunity to turn teaching into a lot more than what I have in the past.
Why am I feeling stuck?
I feel like I am going through the motions,
stroke by stroke, but that I am not advancing. It makes me uneasy and anxious, and those feeling make me
short of breath, literally; just like when I am swimming.
How I can get unstuck.
1. Shift
my Perspective. I can to realize that milestones are called just that
because they require miles of effort and often are attained after months or
years of hard-work and dedication. I can remember that it's not about what I "appear" to be, it's about what I am; day-to-day.
2.
Nourish My Roots and Be more Dedicated.
I struggle with dedication.
I feel like my attention is easily distracted and that I am constantly
flip-flopping in regards to what it is that drives me; what really drives me. I have a need for constant
change. There are very few constants in my life; my family and friends being
two. I have moved more times in
the last 18 years than anyone I know, and I get tired of space easily. I feel
the need to constantly change the arrangement of furniture, my hair
style/color; but there is one action that drives me more than any other, and
that’s my deep need to inspire. I can focus on that one constant, and continue to inspire those around me.
3. Celebrate
Mini-Milestones (this puts a whole new spin on M&Ms). Yesterday I re-posted a story on
Facebook about a taxi-driver that drove an elderly woman around NYC before
dropping her off at the hospice. I
have to stop measuring my worth and impact from what is tangible. Instead I can have faith that
little-by-little I am having a positive impact. As Steve Jobs said, you can’t connect the dots forward, only
backwards.
4. Pay
if Forward. I have been
working with a private student on a research project. The topic is child labor. I was reminded while working with him of the numerous
foundations dedicated to eradicating injustice and improving the lives of the
less-fortunate. I can find my cause.
5. Be
persistent and Patient. If I remind myself
to keep acting from a place of good intention and positive impact, my actions
are bound to move mountains. It’s
just a matter of Physics. Isn’t
it? I can do that.
What do you do when you get stuck? It’s always great to have tools in the
trunk.
Authors note: My new tri-suit arrived while I was writing. I am finishing writing with the tags
still on.
