Living in the Future vs. Anticipating the Future

Yesterday I sat down at my computer to write this post, and I seemed to do everything but.  I did accomplish one thing however, I bought a plane ticket.  This post is my personal take on living in the future (which both I and Michael J. Fox have explored) versus anticipating the future.  I am sure we all have our own experiences with which we can relate.

Be honest.  Do you look like this when you see your future?

 After talking with several people about this topic, it seems like women tend to live in the future more than men (with the exception on M.J.F.).  Is this because men are so logical and women more emotional?  Living in the future has two major life limiters. 

Firstly, when we live in the future we over plan.  This might sound great.  After all we have been taught to set goals, and set steps to achieve our goal.  After that we are taught to list how we will know when we have achieved our goal.  We tend to get absorbed in this lofty planning and many of us stay there, myself included; ideas that are amazing and look great on paper, but that’s about it.  I may as well get a crayon and use some of my goal planning papers as gift wrap.  These action plans miss one key aspect; action.

Alex Fayle, does a great job of revealing that when we are constantly updating our “plan” that what we are actually doing is p-r-o-c-r-a-s-t-i-n-a-t-i-n-g.  Yes folks, STOP updating the plan.  In the words on another inspirational friend, Erin, “just be a DOER.”  Do more, plan less.

This is what Erin DID

 The second limitation of living in the future is that it can be an emotional roller-coaster.  It’s like living the waking dream.  You will probably create one of two scenarios.  In one, you are solving a problem, and in the other, you are in a sort of self-created utopia.  Before I continue, let’s clarify that both are, and will always be inventions of your mind; your story.  The problem with the scenerio in which you are solving the problem is that you are actually manifesting a problem.   Why would people do this? Loads of reasons.  People love problems.  It makes them feel significant, it allows them to feel like a victim and get attention, they might be able to avoid other responsibilities, look fragile and needy, they create drama, problems mask guilt, they might punish others, justify addictions, and their a way to control and dominate others.  The list goes on.

In the second scenario you create a life of utopia, which is so seductive.  You actually live there emotionally while life passes you by.  Tick-tock.  You become emotionally attached to what it’s like and all the while, the world is rotating, people are moving forward, forging their way through life; and creating themselves; while you are on pause, day-dreaming.  Not to mention, and I know, it never works out the way you envisioned.  If you are anything like me, you might attach yourself to outcomes.  Your happiness depends on an event that hasn’t happened, and might never. 

How is this different than anticipating the future?  Anthony Robbins (I am going to meet him one day) explains how effective metaphors are when explaining and describing events.  Let’s try this one on.  You are a player in a basketball game.  The big game is on Saturday.  Friday at Practice your coach discusses the strategy and goes over some plays. S/he reviews them on the white board and your attention is there, on the white board.  You are also visualizing the game, tomorrow.  This phase is living in the future, and it is relatively brief.  Next, you get out on the court, and you anticipate. You practice what it is that you will be doing the next day.  You practice.  You practice.  You practice. 

The next day, you play the game.  Now, the anticipation factor is ten-fold.  You need to make decisions in milliseconds.  Good thing you practiced.  However, you lose the game.  This was always a possibility.  We have all seen tears shed at the end of a game or competition.  Are the tears shed out of disappointment?  Yes.  And where is disappointment born?  Stop and think about it for a moment.  Disappointment is born when life doesn’t turn out the way you envisioned it “should.”  It’s embryonic phase lasts as long as you go about your business not even realizing that you attached a feeling to an event that hasn’t happened yet, or to an event that is out of your hands.  How often do we get “disappointed” in others? 

I am absolutely guilty of living in the future; don’t get me wrong.  But every single day we get a chance, to come back to today, and to build with the pieces that we have, today; for that is the only way to anticipate or prepare for tomorrow.  Get messy, get creative, and remove the barriers, because we are bound by the same moment, and that's right now.  

On that, I have inspired myself to get out my yoga mat and PRACTICE!