Getting over it!

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

~ Anais Nin

Yesterday I wrote several messages to a friend encouraging him to use his limitations to redefine possibility.  He focused on all of the problems in his life and was nearly defeated by dis-empowering his own self.  I reminded him that what you focus on grows; that if he focused on the problem, it would grow, and vice-versa.  Today, he used "if" statements to to explain what he wanted, and I reminded him to use "when" statements.  

This sounds so great.  I even convinced myself for a second that I was in control.  That I had the recipe for positivity.  Then it happened.

I lost 9 years of pictures; probably about 12,000 in total (along with videos, applications, software, music, documents, favorite websites and who knows what else).

I was sprung into reactivity and the dominoes began tumbling, almost in slow motion.

I have had a difficult few weeks.  Still settling into a new country, moved into a new space, and wedged my way through the days independently.  This has caused me to feel a mix of fear, anticipation, insecurity, and doubt.  

All of these feelings are below the line.

Below the line:  if you operate from a feeling below the line, you attract that's feelings evil cousin.  Act out of fear, and you might get a false-security, act from anticipation, perhaps anxiety creeps in, from insecurity you might repel, and from doubt, you miss opportunity. (This is not my theory, but one passed on via Kiersten Mooney; inspirational woman)

Losing 12, 000 pictures made me feel like I had lost my past.  I laugh at that.  Really, does anyone have a past.  I mean really?  It's gone.  Pictures are good reminders, but so are laughs with close friends.  What did I lose?  I lost snapshots of good times, and while that stinks, I lost the equivalent of a really good book.  

This is a message from my fried Imily that I received yesterday:

... anyway- from those thoughts i segwayed in to us singing around the apt. which segwayed in to all the door run in stories....and laughed OUT LOUD. i NEVER tire of those stories. NEVER! each one has its own lil bubble over my head! from you all pumped up at your and lizas crib and BANG! from liza with her super straight posture BANG! danny...kinda same as liza actually....and my multiple ones! :} good stuff.

Imily is writing in reference to the times we walked straight into the closed, glass patio doors in Colombia.  There are no pictures of this.

Life is practice.

Now I have to take my own good advice. This is how it goes.  

1. Blow my nose and return box of kleenex for intended purpose of supporting runny nose caused from allergies or cleaning up messes. 

2. Find hard drive expert and retrieve my pictures (crying isn't working!)

3. Change feeling of fear to courage, anticipation to peace, insecurity to confidence, and doubt to choice.  Write words on post it star and stick to wall!

4. Sit up straight and smile.  

5. Blossom and get over it.

6. Be amazing.

Thanks for reading.

I feel better already!  I really do.

D.