Fear Fighting vs. Fighting Fate

Initially I set out to write a blog-post on Courage but I soon realized that “courage” is just part of what I really wanted to write.  A few times over the past few weeks, the sharp claws of fear gripped me.  I felt the familiar swell in my chest that I first discovered in 2005 during a triathlon in Colombia.  For me, the feeling of fear manifests itself in swells.  It’s no wonder then that my greatest fear of all, is of open water. 

Fear paralyses.  It feels like it’s infused within every single cell that makes up your being, and everywhere you go, and everything you do, it just lingers.  This time however there was no open water to dread.  It started with having misplaced perspective, but then it rapidly snowballed into loss of control (self-control).  Panic.  I felt unarmed and ill-equip to defend myself (from myself).  Instead, I froze (temporarily), just as I have in the water.  Breathing erratically, thinking myself into a state of inability and mild frenzy. 

I misplaced my perspective.  This is what happened.  I attached myself to outcome.  So simple.  I really started getting upset because my life wasn’t looking like I had expected.  There were pieces I couldn’t control, and I started overanalysing my every move; calculating carefully, then, I started contracting, becoming someone I am not.

An epiphany arrived just in time!  

If you attach to an outcome, you become a slave to angst and distress.  You end up fate fighting.  

Fate fighting usually ends up bad. Ask anyone who has tried.

So I let it go.  It was as if I sneezed, and the demon who temporarily possessed my body suddenly disappeared.  I detached from my expectations and I instantly morphed back into my own shoes. I communicated my distress, and I let go of the “If ___then ___” monologue that I had been participating in for weeks.  I let it go, and off it went, like a helium balloon, until I couldn’w see it anymore.  I still don’t know the key to “letting go” but I think it was attitude (see below) that let me break free of the fear-shackles.

Courage did not help me overcome my little fiasco.  Until now, I thought that courage was my greatest defence in the face of fear, but this time, my courage lay dormant.  Instead, I came up with a list of 5 fear-fighters that I think can be called on.

Courage: courage is recognizing that your actions could lead to your downfall, but to go forth anyways.  Courage borders stupidity and carelessness and is not to be confused with either.

Faith: Faith is the belief that all things have an ending; including fear

Attitude: Attitude is literally putting your shoulders back, lifting your chin up and saying, “I am amazing and I will triumph!” Without using words.

Breath: When you experience fear (and passion) your breath rate increases.  If you can become aware of it, slow it down consciously you can reduce the fear.

Fear: Yes, fighting fear with fear.  This idea was born while swimming.  If you are approaching your edge and fear is stopping you from being amazing, tell people that you are going to do it.  Now you have accountability to answer to.


Thanks for the read fear fighters!
Peace and Om,
Diane