Your Greatest Thief

Before I give report cards to my kids, I give them the schpeel.  (Insert teacher voice) “Avoid sharing and comparing your grades.  Some of you are fast runners, some of you are fast at math facts.  If we were all the same it would be … ?”  And they yell, “Boring.”

Yet it’s so damn hard. As we grow up, we are taught to measure just about everything. And as we enter adulthood, we are told that our goal setting should be measured (I have never met a SMART goal in my life). We measure this and we measure that and soon we are measuring how many Facebook friends we have compared to someone else (or am I the only person who has done this?) We stop looking in the mirror the same way. We stop seeing the person we are.  Instead we see the person we’re not. I am speaking of comparison, folks.  

When we use other people as benchmarks as to where we should (I hate that word) be, we lose. Period.  There is no winner. (Check out Sam in the pic above - rockstar)

I have been doing a lot of this recently. I see young 20-something women starting new businesses, becoming greatly successful, and I still have debt. I see fitness models with 6-packs and I can’t seem to plank for one minute a day. I see people writing, and writing, and writing, and every time I start to do the same, I think, f*%k it, no one wants to read that. I am in the comparison vortex. And it sucks.

When I look back on my life – even in the past year, I am really proud of the things I have accomplished.  And the year ahead is promising too. So why this struggle?  It’s what I am doing with my present (the majority of it) that is sucking me farther in. I am logged into the edited social media world – and I believe it to be real.  It’s not. Or at least it’s not the full monty. It’s all edited.  I am even backspacing and editing right now so that this sounds right – for you.  

So, getting back to what’s real.  Be curious about that.

I challenge you (and myself)  – just for this moment, right now – to drop comparison.  You can do that by telling yourself three things you love about yourself.  If you feel so inclined, share these in the comments.

I am grateful for inspiration (mine, yours, ours), for my body that has carried me this far, and for my ability to paint a bike, a Buddha and a zebra. (Coming soon)

Comparison stinks. So stop doing it.

Cheers.

The Age of Comparison

Some might call it the age of social media, but I call it the age of comparison.  I know this is true because I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar. 

I fell into the ol’ comparison trap, startled when I felt a pang; a pang of jealousy.  I will be honest and open about exactly what happened.  But beware, jealousy is U-G-L-Y.

Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius. ~ Fulton J. Sheen 

I have a wonderful friend who has an outstanding blog.  She writes honestly and openly about life.  Her posts are humorous and witty and I LOVE reading her blog.  Lately I have spent a LOT of time on the computer. I spend a lot of time looking at inspirational blogs, potential courses (hello Anthony Robbins), and revel in the outstanding accomplishments of others.    Last week I wrote about feeling like I was treading water so to speak.  Like I was going though the motions but not moving anywhere. 

For months I have thought, I would really love to write for an online publication. I have enjoyed writing the blog and thanks to my late mother, I have a lot of ideas. 

Christine got published. Handling Guilt Gremlins.

My initial reaction makes me feel gross.  As soon as I saw that she had been published, I felt like my chance was gone, like someone had beaten me to it.  I felt jealous and jealousy isn’t just mental, it’s physical.  I felt like I had lost something that should have been mine. Ew, ew, ew.  What gross feelings.

This is the age of comparison my friends.  This is the age.

I am truly thrilled Christine got published; and she deserves it for a) writing great material; b) for putting herself out there to the online mag.; 3) for sharing her ideas and thoughts with the world; and 4) for being amazing.  

Facebook. Twitter. Blogs. Flicker.  LinkedIn. Youtube.

What's so special and unique about social media? It allows people to shine, to share and provides a platform to be amazing in the public eye, something that as children we may have been ostracized for.  Heaven forbid we were called the “Center of Attention.” 

Stars don't compete.  They don't look at the star beside them and pale with feelings of inadequacy. And only together, they light up the whole sky. 

It’s important to remember to use technology as a tool to propel us forward, and not to let it layer us with any more your not as good/funny/pretty/smart/ as …  or, you’re just not good enough, it’s already been done, s/he is the same age as me and has accomplished so much more.  WRONG.  That's comparison, and it's an ugly road to travel down.  

The killer in my sad tale of non-publication is this one … tomorrow I will, and oh, too late.

I am off to rectify that one.  ACTION: a six-letter word that makes all the difference in the world.