Back then, it seemed like the end of the world. The future I had created in my imagination came to a halting screech and it was me and a vertical wall I'd have to scale.
I cried my heart out.
My mom brought me soup.
I cried more.
And then I started to disassemble the fantasy. Day by day I let reality settle in and finally, I packed my bags and left the country. Here I am, thirteen years later.
Living a life of my own creation.
Every. Day. We. Start. Again.
Yesterday I experienced a shift at work. I was given a placement for next year that tipped me so far away from what felt right, that it forced me to make a choice. It forced me to consider my position, my feelings, and what was causing me to feel so extremely wrong. And I did. Feel wrong. Gut wrenching, tear jerking wrong.
For a good part of the day, I felt like I needed to be the good Samaritan, and BE with it, but then I also had to listen to what my heart was telling me. And it was saying, make the change.
So I did.
Seems like a little thing really, changing grade levels. But it's not to me. I feel happy; really happy. A change of content, a grade I haven't taught yet (third) and a new team. And little third graders. Wee little ones. I love it.
And so it was born ... by some rather disappointing news.
Those are blessings in disguise.
But you gotta be open to choosing them; to making them more than just ideas that get lost in the tide.
Blessings in disguise.
