5:00am. The alarm went off and my body shivered. Morning temperature in Mexico City ranges from 5-10o. I think it was 5o.
To do before 8:00am:
- Change clothes
- Eat banana
- Go to gym
- Forget gym card (but remember on way)
- Drive home get card
- Drive to gym
- Ride spin bike for 2 hours with questionable musical accompaniment
1h20m into the ride, “I have been totally counting down this whole time.” I confessed.
“You have been counting down?”
“Ya! (proud with my calculations) At 10 minutes we were 1/12 done, at 12 minutes, 1/10 done, at 20 minutes 1/6 done, 30 minutes 1/4 …”
But I had counted until 1h20 where I was happily past 1/2.
“Don’t count down! Hit your mark … hit your mark!” Ricardo suggested.
My immediate reaction was to defend my count down. I tried these angles:
“It’s not really counting down. It’s chunking. I am chunking my workout into segments and “giving it” for each chunk.”
“Counting down is exactly the same as counting up.”
“Counting down is effective sometimes.” (This is true … during torture, space shuttle launch, New Years Eve, and perhaps labour)
What’s wrong with counting down? Is there a difference between counting down and counting up? I am pissed off now.
Little did I know, I was pissed, because I focused entirely on how much I didn't want to be grinding my body on a bike that wasn't moving.
The teacher played a new song (which I just Youtubed and can’t believe is so popular) and began to dance side-to-side forcing me crack a smile.
As soon and the Defensive Donna left my head and my adrenaline channeled back into hitting 80rpms (though the music was clearly at 65) I was able to see the light.
Counting down implies that something non-existent, the future is more appealing than that the only thing that truly does exist, the present. Then you spend your time chasing the dangling carrot. *Check out this interesting blog http://danglethecarrot.blogspot.com
I was in my Ironman shorts in an air-conditioned room, spinning with my fellow Mexicans and training partner extraordinaire, Ricardo, and I was wishing the minutes away. Counting down like this wasn't my choice.
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| I wonder if he would prefer to be in spin with Marc Anthony or here? |
“Hit your mark!” What does that mean?
Instead of counting down, make every second count. "Stretch them out so that they last as long as possible." It seems so simple in retrospect, but I count down ALL the time. Don’t we all? Minutes until our favorite show, days until weekend or a celebration, sleeps until we get to see a loved one, weeks until holiday, years until we get to drive, get married, get out seniors discount card and so on. And what do we gain by counting down? Does time go by faster? Is that really what we want? Really?
So this is what I did. I shifted my focus. I have been reading about this all week, listening to Baptiste Yoga podcasts and listening to the words over and over. Some ideas were landing and I was beginning to process while some words were misfires, spitting at me letter-by-letter, something like alphabet soup. “S-I-F-H-T U-Y-R-O C-O-F-S-U.”
But I did it. I shifted my focus. I stopped counting down, and I started making my minutes stretch out. I started playing the “if you can do this, you can do anything” game and I started to enjoy the lactic acid build up and explosive cardiac thunder. I didn’t measure another fraction, but when I looked at the time, I saw numbers, numbers representing an investment in health, in a passion and in hard work. And that felt good.
I am not suggesting that you “shouldn’t” count down. Just make sure it’s not extracting from your vitality and livelihood; in the only thing you really truly have, your presence.
And now, a musical interlude from Europe.
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